This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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