let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize