so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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