We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize