also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize