dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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