there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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