My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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