I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize