at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
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and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
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I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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