Kiss
Puke
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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