how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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