I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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