you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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