Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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