Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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