If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize