She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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