You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize