dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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