Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
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AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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