Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize