I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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