I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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