On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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