Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize