I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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