Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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