if you like me you must not know who I am
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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