you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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