Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry about my life...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize