He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize