Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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