Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
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He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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