we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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