You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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