She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize