I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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