i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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