mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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