dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize