she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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