Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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