jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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