His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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