You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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