you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Everyone says I win the strip club
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize