I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
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I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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