New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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