I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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