i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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